The Wandering Yogi (IV)

(Original Quja Yogi Quja 2017-06-12)

Encountering His Holiness Akhyuk

When I was practising at Manas Sarovar Lake (Mapam Yumtso), near Gang Rinpoche (Mount Kailāsh in the Himalayan range), I learned from the locals that most of today’s Tibetan Buddhist masters lived in the Kham region of Tibet. I therefore decided to continue my wandering journey through the Kham region in search of my Root Guru.

I set off on foot from Manas Sarovar Lake, walking along the roadside with the intention of someone giving me a lift. In about 20 kilometres no car stopped to help me. Maybe I had long tousled hair and a padded jacket, which looked too much like a homeless person. After a while the sun was getting hotter and the heat of the ground was scorching me. By then I had no food, no water, my mouth was parched. Hunger, tiredness and thirst were beginning to overwhelm me when finally the driver of a black jeep stopped and invited me to get in. In the excitement of communicating, it came out that I was going to Lhasa and as they were going to Nepal, they dropped me off at a place that was on the way to my destination. This fortuitous and convenient meeting impressed me and filled me with joy so much that I thanked them from the bottom of my heart and wished them well wherever they were going. It would be wonderful if all people helped each other like that.

Then I had a bite to eat in the car park and took a bus to Shigatse. Fortunately for me, I sat in a window seat. During the trip I was able to enjoy the endless fields of wild flowers under the snow-capped mountains. It was good to see Tibetans grazing in the wild grass, feeding the sheep and cows.
The landscape glowed like a realistic oil painting. After several hours of driving everything was going beautifully. At some point we made a technical stop to rest and it was then that I wanted to get off to buy some tea in a shop. I was very surprised to find strangers who were also very friendly. Suddenly the possibility of travelling with them came up and I didn’t hesitate to get into their car. The idea of going in a private car, more comfortable and faster, and travelling for free convinced me instantly.

After a few hours of travelling, I wanted to go to the toilet so I asked them to stop the car for a moment. The two men sitting in front of me didn’t even look back. They didn’t look like Tibetans or Han Chinese. Their faces didn’t look so friendly anymore and they didn’t talk much either. There was hardly any traffic so they were driving faster and faster. I had the intention to jump out of the car but hesitated because of the speed. Again I begged them to stop. I was surprised by their attitude and started to think: what the hell are they going to do to me?

All sorts of frightening thoughts came to my mind, all the legends I had heard as a child and the horrifying stories that happen in India. I also thought of many of the scary scenes in the movies. As the car accelerated, I realised how useless it was to beg them to stop. Then I began to think about what they were going to use me for, I contemplated the possibility that I was being kidnapped. What kind of dangerous situation was I in? The more I thought about it, the more scared I became.

This situation took me back to my 14 years. That was when I first arrived in New Delhi, the capital of India, at the end of 1999. It was the first time I had taken a train from New Delhi to a Buddhist school in South India. That day I boarded the train at about three o’clock in the afternoon and saw that there were beds and toilets inside. I had never seen beds and toilets in a train before, so this was a novelty for me. After finding my seat, I sat in front of a very happy looking family.

The train stopped at a station when a strange man approached my compartment and woke me up very urgently. He told me that I had arrived at my destination and that it was time to get off the train. He then took me by the hand and led me to the station door. It was very strange how tightly the man held my hand. Suddenly another man ran after me and grabbing my other hand, he shouted to shoo the strange man away. This man took me back to the train and warned me that it was dangerous to trust strangers like that because some bad people sold children to work or abused them. I felt a shiver down my back. It was then that I realised that the world was very dangerous. The more I thought about it, the more scared I became and the more my heart was pounding. I am glad that at that time there were kind people who saved me and took me back to the train. That year I was disappointed and upset for a long, long time because of the experience I had that night.

In that flow of thoughts was me, sitting in that car with those strangers. Despite the speed and the gravity of the situation, I decided to calm down and remain rational. I decided to think about how to escape, while chanting mantras to the Buddha and Bodhisattva for blessing.

In the middle of the night the car finally stopped somewhere remote. The two men grabbed me by my arms and legs, took me into a room, took my picture and then threw me into a small dark room. All I could think about at that moment was my mother – what if it ended there and I never saw her again?
I despaired for a moment, but then I thought that my family would think I had been practising. At least it would save my friends and family the worry and grief.

That night I couldn’t sleep. The room was dark and it really stank. Probably all the people who had been here before had eaten and drank here. I thought to myself about all the people who had been here before and now they were gone. Had they been moved somewhere else, were they human traffickers?

The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. I meditated to try to calm down and chanted mantras and worshiped all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. The next morning they threw me some food from outside the fence. The first two days were very unsettling, and every day I became more and more worried about the situation. All sorts of fears arose, when would they take my life, whether they would sell me or remove my organs. And so the days went by until at some point my mind calmed down. On the third and fourth day I began to realise that at least they didn’t intend to take my life so soon. I continued to meditate, holding on to the deep, heartfelt wish that I could endure all the suffering of all sentient beings in the six ways of rebirth. That all my good fortune and merit would be returned to all sentient beings in the six paths of rebirth to give them happiness and joy.

Perhaps it was the result of my past mistakes, or perhaps the situation was a test for me. In either case, I was determined to accept the present situation before me. I really had no reason to complain about reality, no reason to feel depressed. I continued to meditate and contemplate on all the people I had met so far, blessing them wholeheartedly and meditating for them.

Sometimes I thought about how the incident had happened. I couldn’t help thinking about how I ended up in that situation. It all happened because I wanted the convenience, because I chose the speed of a minibus and the fact that it was free. That was the reason why I decided not to take a regular and safer bus. As I was thinking about this, I remembered my life in today’s world, where many people want to succeed quickly and get the comfortable life they want. To do this, they sometimes try to do unethical and even harmful things. In the end they end up harming themselves and their families; all out of ignorance. Thinking about it, I no longer cared about my own situation at the time. I thought of the countless sentient beings in the world who were suffering in unimaginable ways, and I vowed that, whenever I could, I would be able to help sentient beings who had fallen into the cycle of rebirth.

I was kept locked up for seven days with only a little food and water to keep me alive. Sometimes I heard talking and laughing outside, but they never communicated with me. Suddenly one day, two men picked me up and put me in a car. It was still early, the taller and stronger man was driving again, while another man held me tightly in the back seat of the car. They even pulled a black hood over my head. At some point the thinner man grabbed me and we got on the train. The other one stayed in place until he saw the two of us getting on the train. I thought:
I must escape before the train starts, this is the chance! Suddenly I pushed the man’s hand away with all my might, shoved him off and ran away. I ran frantically out of the train and out of the station, fearing that they would catch up with me at some point.

I immediately managed to stop a taxi on the road. The driver was a Tibetan guy, I told him to go to Lhasa city centre. In the taxi I was very scared, I was afraid that those people would chase me, I was looking back the whole way. It had all unravelled so quickly that I took a moment to reflect and enjoy how amazing it was that I had been able to escape. It must have been the Buddha’s blessing that fortunately allowed me that possibility. After a while I remembered that I didn’t have enough money to pay the driver. We stopped to call an old friend from a pay phone. The man was out of town, but he gave me the contact of a khenpo whom he knew from the Buddhist College in India. To my good fortune, Khenpo Pema put me up in his house for a few days and helped me pay the taxi fare. Thanks to his generosity and good shelter I was able to rest for a few days, which was much needed for me to calm down after the incident. One day I told Khenpo Pema about my intention to travel to Kham to look for a guru and improve my practice.

A few days later, with Khenpo’s help, I left Lhasa by bus for another long journey. I was still a little scared, and in the first few moments I travelled the road fearing at times that those people would come back for me. Not even the beauty of the landscape, the majesty of the snow-capped mountains, the sacredness of each place that appeared and dissolved before my eyes, the lush turquoise lakes, the herds of sheep and yak, nor the freshness of the green grass, could calm my anxious heart and allow my mind to fully enjoy the moment. Gradually I calmed down, prayed to Buddha and Bodhisattvas asked for blessings. After two days of travelling, I reached Ganzi in the evening and rested in a hotel. Still at that time, in the middle of the night while I was sleeping alone in bed, I fell into strange thoughts again, I was afraid that those people were chasing me, that someone would suddenly enter my room and kidnap me. I managed to fall asleep slowly with fear, anxiety and exhaustion.

The next morning, I woke up early. On my way out I saw many cars rushing to pick up passengers to take them to the Serta Buddhist Institute and Yachen Monastery. I took a van in the hope of finally seeing the famous Yachen Monastery and the Serta Larung Five Science Buddhist Academy with my own eyes. Since I was a child I had heard many legends about these places.

I remember among the stories I was told as a child, hearing about two very powerful Dharma kings in Tibet: the Venerable Jigme Phuntsok of the Five Science Buddhist Academy and the Venerable Akhyuk Rinpoche of Yachen Monastery. Venerable Akhyuk, famous for his high level of practice, was especially spoken of. In my life I had always longed to meet these two great monks. Unfortunately, the year I received my Khenpo degree from the Buddhist College, Venerable Jigme Phuntsok passed away.

On the way from Ganzi, I saw many devotees on the way to Yachen monastery. The car I was in was full of people. A dozen of us were travelling in a small van. Among them, a lady suddenly vomited on me. She seemed to be getting very dizzy, so I immediately asked the driver to stop so that the granny could get some fresh air and drink some water. I was happy to realise that my instant reaction showed an improvement in my practice. I was encouraged by this result. Then I thought: if I can’t help others when they have problems, then when will I be able to help them?

During the journey the car broke down. Between the repair time and the breaks the 9 hours turned into more than 10. I was so excited by the idea of meeting Venerable Akhyuk, that I found it difficult to sleep. I thought that his strong intuition would make him perceive that a Rinpoche from Nepal wanted to see him.

In the morning I went to the Yachen Monastery, where I found a long queue at the entrance. I followed the crowd and waited in line for more than an hour. At some point, a few monks came out from inside and one of them started to organise the queue. It was a bit strange to see the way they established the order. Apparently, they had divided the queue in two; on one side there was a group of ordinary looking and even poorly dressed people, and on the other, a group of very well dressed people. The latter looked richer and carried many offerings in their hands. The organising monks also gave priority to the wealthy when choosing who would enter the monastery first. In my case, as I was dressed like a pauper, I was left to wait at the end of the queue.

The privileged queue went on for I don’t know how many hours, but ours never moved. In the afternoon it was announced that visiting hours were over and we were told to come back the next day. I was surprised that devotees who had come from so far away were treated with such a strong sense of separation. I came to think that this attitude was probably because the practice of these monks was not refined enough. I felt a little uneasy in my heart. It seemed that they had not really learned the spirit of the Buddha’s teachings. I felt sorry that they were with such a distinguished monk; yet they had not properly learned from His Holiness Akhyuk.

Although it didn’t seem fair, early the next day, I returned to the queue. Unfortunately the same thing happened, the same system of organisation was maintained. Then I thought to myself, “If His Holiness Akhyuk, who is reputed to be such a deep practitioner and so compassionate, could see all this and see the poor devotees coming here and having to wait outside, I could not bear it”. I felt as if there was a wall in between and I began an inner dialogue with my consciousness.

I also felt as if there was a wall between me and the Venerable Akhyuk. In my inner dialogue I spoke with Akhyuk Rinpoche, and in that communication I told him my purpose and my expectations for the journey; as well as the situation I was witnessing before me. In my consciousness Venerable Akhyuk Rinpoche inspired me to see my own obsession and said to me, “There is no link between us in this life as guru and disciple, you have to move on to find your true root guru; even if we have a link, I don’t have much time to guide you in this life.”
As there were so many people in the queue that day, I could not wait any longer and left the queue without a sense of loss in my heart, rather with relief that I had let myself go. I went out to the main gate and offered a white katha for His Holiness Akhyuk. I conveyed my heartfelt blessings and prayers inwardly. His Holiness Akhyuk’s greatness has guided countless sentient beings to benefit from the wisdom of Buddha’s teachings and be liberated from physical and mental suffering, and I sincerely follow his greatness. Then I left Yachen Monastery.

I travelled from one snowy mountain to another, walking through the pale, cold, wintry terrain, wrapped only in a tattered robe. In my wandering, I met many practitioners in the process who had been in retreat for many years. In the mountains I sometimes could not eat for days and there were times when I could not even cry or laugh. I went without knowing where the path was leading me.